Doula, educator, mother

It was more than forty years ago, way back in the early 70's. As a qualified school teacher, I thought I had the best certification to launch myself as a mother with the optimum opportunity to make a good job out of parenting. My husband Lawrence was a teacher too, so we thought we had all it took to start a family. We got married in 1973.

The first pregnancy was smooth. The birth was not too bad, though with today's standards, left a lot to be desired. What affected me most and kept haunting me ever since was the fact that I was alone throughout the birth, as husbands were not yet allowed to be present for births at the public hospital. I had only met my midwife for the first time during labour, which I spent on my own, lying down in what seemed to me, a very high bed in the middle corridor of an overflowing ward of birthing mothers.

As a child, I was the fifth in a family of six. I always remember my mum vividly relating stories of her births so many years before, all happening at home of course, and always accompanied by family members and friends about whom she always talked with fondness. After my experience I was envious. It just wasn't fair! Women simply should never, never be alone, without proper emotional support while birthing a child. Thankfully, as soon as I was home, I had a lot of support from my husband and my mum, which felt really good.

Three years later, in 1977, I was pregnant with my second child. An advert in the local papers talked about a course for pregnant women organised at Cana premises in Paola and delivered by an American teacher Susan Rohde. I attended. That was the course that was!!! It made a lot of sense. It gave me all the empowerment I needed to feel good about my pregnancy, the birth I was to go through in a few weeks' time, and all I needed to improve on my previous experience of birthing, breastfeeding, bonding and feeling good about showing love to my baby. Why, but why wasn't a course like this a must to all parents?

Again in the public hospital, but this time secretly but constantly supported by my teacher, together with a midwife whom again I met for the first time during labour – and still no husband, as husbands weren't allowed yet, the birth was a delightful experience. All these years later it is still imprinted in my mind, never to be forgotten! The main issues which helped were:

1. I felt so very well prepared
2. I felt so very well supported
3. I felt so very much in command, with both my support persons: teacher and midwife, ready to make me feel good and encourage me throughout.

Yes, birth could be a wonderful experience! It can really be done!

This was a turning point in my life. I simply had to spread out the news to all mothers, hoping they too could make a beautiful experience out of their births. This is what mothers deserve!

The story which follows is too long to have it written on this website. Maybe one day I shall write a book! In a few words, late in 1977 with the constant help and supervision of my American teacher, I started giving pregnancy classes at the premises of the Catholic Action in Vittoriosa. Not much later, with the help of a few energetic young mothers I founded the Mother & Baby Club, Cana. Later we started the Association of Breastfeeding mothers and later still we launched the Cana Playgroups.

Though local support from young mothers and fathers never failed, I felt I needed recognition. The concept was new in Malta and unfortunately did not always enjoy professional status, so I sought help internationally. I started out by becoming a member of two international organisations, mainly I.C.E.A of America, N.C.T of Britain, and a few Breastfeeding Associations. I attended numerous conferences in America, Britain and Holland. With the help of the local Education Department I sat for an international examination and became an International Certified Childbirth Educator. Though I certainly hold my certification with pride, I must admit that the certification I treasure most is that provided by my three children, (I had a third one fourteen years later – born by Cesarean Section!!) who gave me all the experience I needed to be a good mother (I presume!) and now also a grandmother of three lovely boys and a girl!

Doubtlessly, I cannot fail to mention my two years of residential college training spent at Tal-Virtu, Rabat, to become a professional teacher which perhaps subconsciously helped to launch me into a lifelong mission to help and educate parents. It is my belief that proper education and good support are two vital ingredients to help parents obtain the self-esteem which is so necessary for them to be able to provide tender, loving care to their children in the full sense of the word and feel good at it. As any parent can tell, with all the certificates one may obtain in life, it still remains to be by no means easy to parent a child.

My older two children are now qualified teachers too, the older one a science teacher and also a pharmacist and a mother, and the other two, now men with families of their own, are involved in IT. A family of teachers cannot but dedicate themselves to education. With my family's continued support, “In the Family Way” will go on to be a parenting school with a difference, a school which offers its students, adults and children alike, educational fun and a love of learning.

May this website be an added source of useful information to all interested parents!

I simply cannot fail to acknowledge the help and support given throughout the years by some of the numerous persons I have met and who certainly made a difference in my life…

• My husband Lawrence,
• My daughter Ruth, and grandsons Luca & Mattia,
• My son Mark, wife Caroline, and grandchildren Andre' and Krysta
• My son Simon, his wife Beatrice, and grandson Alex
• My late parents, my brothers and sister and their families.
• Susan Rohde, S.A.
• Sue Baker, S.A.
• Bridget Baker, K.
• Geoff and Mary Hoyle U.S.A. (Geoff starred in the film Popeye in 1980. Mary gave birth to their second child at home in Malta during the time the film was being shot. This was the first birth I attended as a support person – my launching into the Doula world.)
• Anja Van der Laan, Holland
• Michel Odent, obstetrician, France
• Caroline Flint, midwife
• Sheila Kitzinger, author
• Janet Balaskas, educator
• Jehudi Gordon obstetrician, and his staff, U.K.
• Jessica Dick-Read, wife of childbirth education pioneer Dr. Grantly Dick-Read
• Josie Muscat, Malta.
• Anna Croucher and Anna Calleja, Midwives
• The Cana Movement, Malta
• The Mother & Baby Club, Cana
• Monica Cilia-Vincenti and the Cana group
• Mary Monreal
• Doulas
• All the mums and dads who attend and support my pregnancy and parenting classes, parent clubs, doula meetings, etc, who give me all the energy I need to keep going!

God bless you all!